You Won’t Believe What This Bride Had To Do The Day Before Her Chuppah

A trip to the cemetery is not your typical pre-wedding errand.

Tags: Spotlight
Vaad Harabanim ,

Trip tp the cemetery before her wedding
Trip tp the cemetery before her wedding
צילום: Banner Media

Many readers were moved this month to learn the story of Malka Kreizer, a 39-year-old mother of 7 children who passed away after a torturous battle with brain cancer. The tragedy came just one week before her eldest daughter’s wedding, an event which mother and daughter had been hoping to celebrate together before Malka was gone. Today, the young bride posted a handwritten and heartfelt letter, which beautifully and tragically describes the conflicting grief and joy which surround her:

“In a few minutes all the visitors to our shivah house will leave, we the aveilim (mourners) will get up from our chairs to go for the first time to the grave of our mother. We’ll wipe the tears off the faces of my younger siblings, and try to comfort my youngest sister who is only 2, and who doesn’t really understand what we have lost.

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Then, I and my 7 siblings will look at the invitation hanging on the fridge - the invitation to a happy occasion - the wedding of their oldest sister. On Shabbos, my chassan (groom) will be called up to the Torah and candies and sweets will rain down on his head.

I will go to my room and open the closet and stroke my beautiful wedding dress that is waiting for me there. The dress is embroidered with the tears and the prayers of my mother who hoped to be with me on my wedding day. But she left us after only 39 years, just one week ago. She left us with such great sorrow, because she knew that she was leaving behind her oldest daughter as a kallah (bride), with only one week left until the wedding.

In a few days, a small velvet chuppah will be set up with prayers for a “binyan adei ad”, and my mother will give me a blessing from her place on high. I won’t be able to hold her hand or feel her kiss, but she will be right there with me.

She will certainly intercede on the behalf of all those who help her daughter build a true Jewish home. I will also daven on my big day for all those who help.

The kallah, Chani”

It is difficult to not be moved by the powerful imagery Chani so beautifully portrays: Children visiting the grave of their mother for the first time since her burial, an invitation on a refrigerator door which once stood for hope and now stands for loss, a wedding gown “embroidered with prayers and tears.”

The Kreizers’ pain, however, is not only grief. A year without Malka’s income, compounded by medical debts and the other hidden expenses of cancers, has put them in a state of poverty. Chani and her chassan will move into an empty apartment, devoid of basic furniture and appliances. Back at the Kreizer home, Malka’s bereft widower will struggle to pay the basic bills and support the 6 children who remain under his roof.

Donations are being accepted via their emergency fund, to help them get through this tremendously painful time. As she said in her letter above, Chani feels sure that her mother of blessed memory will pray on behalf of all those who help her precious children.



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